RIVER GOLD
NOTES 2020
2020/02/03  Note:  material added later on this day at around 8:45 am mst, again at 9:26 am mst In going over the Iraq section on this website, I would like to make some points.  First of all, it can be spooky, sad, tearful and filled with psychic empath moments, feeling blasts and body parts of the departed, and sensing the injury and aftermath of a living maimed male veteran or one who experienced PTSD and another type of injury, both from Operation Iraqi Freedom.  We cannot say too much about either individual for the sake of privacy, but what I can say is that since knowing both, I have had a stronger than normal feeling for their predicament and condition.  As for the maimed one, there have been times I have walked around my home or opened car doors or have done any number of day-to-day activities and felt part of my body and experience to be an extension of his own. As for both, the common empath experience was vicarously sensing bomb blasts.  The level of empathy has been taken to a new level unprecedented so far in my life. I have had a stronger than normal feeling for what it means to be blown apart by a bomb or maimed, or sensing bombs in general in the area, vicariously through these other persons.  There are times I walk around town or go from my vehicle or make decisions about where to park based on these vicarious feelings about possible bombing treachery, kidnapping, suspicious objects, etc.   It’s like I have taken on part of their PTSD in some way.   What I can confirm is that at some point people do need space, I feel it, too.  You can be getting too much in their space but they, even without meaning to, can be getting in your energy field by osmosis or some non-conscious, non-deliberate thing.  It’s not the two of you always are trying to get this to happen; something just happens and Boom, you are walking around feeling their stuff.  Part of the sense of need for space can be this feeling you are supposed to do something more with this connection; then things can be forced and funky.  Trying to do something more with it can also open old wounds if someone was raped or has had weird sexual experiences one way or another.   The person might have encountered a horrible domination/submission scenario with males who abused him in the military, before or after his injury.  Without direct communication one way or another, you pick up a few things and wonder.  You sense maybe a prison or hospital setting for this.  But you don’t know for sure. Maybe it lead to further complications; you read the energy, he still responds sexually to women well enough, and likes their companionship, but you feel maybe something else is going on around a certain male, and maybe this is one of the secrets he gets jumpy about, along with what happened in the military.  But you don’t know for sure.  You cannot do anything about it.  Maybe someone in his family can figure it out; you don’t know them well enough to dig and he’s told you Enough is Enough.  So you are out of the picture for now.  Again, maybe someone else in the family can figure it  out.  This fellow likely needs to talk one way or the other, and get it out in the open.  But it cannot be forced.  In some ways you are a bystander.  In some ways you feel this connection was pre-ordained I am still learning, but my take on it now, after trial and error, and their own feedback and non-responsiveness -  is to try your best to give it a breather and if later people need to talk normally -  maybe it will happen, but maybe not.  Don’t try to force this or that.  I was trying to grapple with this with both people and feel I made some wrong turns.  Trying to talk it out, trying to see if letting something happen in the physical might make it better, no, ultimately it seems it needs a breather, either one for awhile, years or a lifetime, but it’s time out.  They can call it, and do: Enough is Enough.  My tenacious nature likes to keep trying to get to the root of the matter.  The way to deflect this from putting too much attention on any one individual is to research the history of what was around them instead.  Hence, the brief study of Iraq.  You turn the energy from a human thing to a broad human thing.  What happened to them and why?  It takes your focus to another level. Beyond this, while going over the Iraq material, I have had a stronger than normal drive to read up on some topics, particularly in the earlier years of the Iraq conflict.  After I flesh out that time period, I might later spend more time with more current events.  Although I have added some of those current events here, I am doing catch-up on the history of the earlier era.  Even though it has been over a decade since OIF, many of the veterans still alive are not that old. If they were like many soldiers, they were in their early to mid 20s during either the 2003 first invasion of Iraq or the later 2007 surge which saw so many brought into Iraq, or with extended assignments. The other thing that comes up for me about the Iraq (and Afghan) material is that there can be intense secrets among these veterans.  The secrets can be something inadvertently or subconsciously tripped over,  opening a can of worms.  Anything from hidden corrupt activity to a grueling abduction and/or rape from friendlies or enemies.  The rapes of our soldiers - sadly statistically high inside our own forces -  but with hostiles with bad habits anyway, things could be worse. If Iraqis or Afghans had the inclination, they could and did turn up the dial on our soldiers, once getting their hands on them.  The scenarios can include having Iraqis and Afghans working side by side as allies with American forces. Getting inside complexes, support infrastructures like hospitals and prisons, or driving around with them in vehicles.  If unguarded, the places for encounter could wind up being traps for rapes and abuse of our people.  Since it would be extremely humiliating and painful, our people might come home with secrets about such things, fearful to talk for a number of different reasons.  Alongside these issues are the ones about backstabbing and playing false: like taking money from the Americans as part of an Awakening movement and also getting paid by Iranian backed Quds forces.  So our people drive up a road known by players of their movements and hit by an EFP, blown up by people who were supposed to be working with the Americans.  Trying to train Iraqis only to find them abandoning ship at the slightest provocation; seeing Iraqi militias driving through cities using machine gun fire at the public at large, hearing about Iraqi police setting up detention centers outside the permission, intent and radar of the American forces…it is not hard to imagine that in the wrong place and time, an American could get “it” from one of these types.  The fact Americans were being asked to work alongside such slippery and potentially ruthless groups who had insincere intentions explains why so many combat veterans come back not trusting.  The multi-sided ruthlessnes of the situation where you cannot trust the women, the truck and car drviers, innocuous looking pieces of trash along the road or the people you work with, the constant off and on violence and explosions….no wonder our combat veterans are jumpy and non-trusting.  Although there were many honest and sincere Iraqis, too, and we do want to give them credit for their efforts, we need to give our Americans some kind of safe zone for admitting when things did not happen right.  Whether or not they were in compromising situations, at some point to get to the bottom of things we need some kind of safe zone for talking things out.  I know many others have come to this realization with any crime situation.  At some point, officers have to throw up their hands and offer immunity in return for information.  There is no question that many of us could wind up on the other side of law and order in places like Iraq and Afghanistan.  It’s not a matter of sitting comfortably in our livingrooms judging our soldiers as we read up on the horrors.  As an empath, I can say sometimes I feel both sides of the story and know how darkness can enter our spirit and cause us to do things we would not normally do back home in the USA.  It can partly be being surrounded by influences.  Another can be feeling no one is watching, being off in a foreign country. While sensing things empathically going over the Iraq material or anything else, I might have a problem with an ongoing gangstalking and gaslighting issue as something paranormal.  It makes distinguishing between events and persons hard as the energy can hammer and confuse.  I have seen a little bit of a sign of someone having it in for me through Craigslist a few  years ago; the energy behind some crass and cruel comments seem to match some of the psychic attack energy, but I cannot know for sure that is behind an ongoing issue.  Also, I sense possibly I have a new “perp.”  I do not think the more aggressive and volatile psychic attack material is the veteran in question, although for awhile I wondered.  In addition, tehre is a history of this with  others, with me wondering if THEY were doing it, too.  This indicates a third party perp. I think it might be some old baggage or something new.   I suspect part of the reason is that he himself has some empathic and psychic ability, perhaps some of it naturally, but also maybe he had some training in terms of dealing with his maimed condition.  By learning to work technology as an extension of our physical limitations with modern tech, including perhaps even gaming tech, a person might develop mental and astral projection capabilities which can lend themselves to “reaching out and touching” someone one an astral or energy level, or telepathy, or mind over matter.  I am not saying this person has had that level of training or background, but I suspect this might be at least part of the phenomena I have been experiencing. The problem is you might be letting someone in while experiencing empathy with someone else; it might open the door to additional phenomena. This might be weaving in and out of something involving yet another human who has been getting into my space, making it hard to distinguish one person from another.  In addition, this individual might drink and/or do drugs to the point he might be tripping or overly relaxed in reaching “out and over” on an energy level at intervals; he might or might not remember or realize he is doing this.  In addition, I could be drawing something in subconsciously, making it more likely or easier to be reached on this level.  Beyond this, if a third party is psychically watching and opening the door to certain phenomena, it could be part of the issue.  I do keep getting stronger about blocking certain attacks, but still have more to learn.  I do not find much of the psychic suggestions about “surround yourself in a bubble or mirrors” very effective at all for me personally.  For someone like me, it seems to be about getting to the roots of the issue in myself and the other.  I feel at least one of the perps is trying to dominate, play God, act like a vigilante to teach someone a lesson or offer the final hangman’s noose as judgment.  This is why so much of this sort of thing winds up in the Far Zone section on this website, as these are things I feel I have likely run into from psychic attackers over the years, whether it is old baggage or someone new as I move along.  It does fit with the emotionality of Hispanic machismo and angry tribal types, or Islamic extremism, or course and self-serving white guy American veterans of a certain ilk.  So you see, it can be any of these but the one theme that comes up as a repeating possibility is the emotional, controlling, vindictive Hispanic male with pent up sexual issues.  I think this is at least one of the things I have been dealing with.  Do I think all Hispanic males are this bad?  No.  But I will tell people frankly I run into a lot of Hispanic machismo.  If the dial is turned up in one of these men who is also psychic, I can see something playing out the way I have been experiencing it on a psychic level.  There might be a Hispanic/tribal psychic connection in this matter.  I know I have met several tribal women who felt they were dealing with psychically sexually abusive tribal shamans, and witchcraft is treated as real by both traditional tribal people and Hispanics.  I think the main issue with this is intention.  What people intend to do with their minds can be manifested to the point we feel it on an energy level.  You can be dealing with someone who is neurotic, obsessive and compulsive, filled with rage over not being seen by the white race, not being seen as the leaders of the people.  “Let me handle it.”  Since I am someone who usually does not want someone else to handle it unless I have a specific need at the moment, the perp and I can be in an ongoing battle on an energy level that conceivably could go on decades or a lifetime.  If I keep drawing types like this, I could be switching from one perp to another on an energy level.  Since you never meet them to be able to confront them, part of the issue is the not knowing for sure.  This can be a type of open wound - the never knowing for certain just exactly who and what you are dealing with.  This is why I always ask for feedback loops so I can develop my truth orientation with another psychic empath.  This way I can get more clear on who is who and what is what.  But in the process, I can lose people who get weirded out over the psychic thing.  People might have a certain level of opennes and ability on the psychic thing, but things can get deeper than they are prepared to deal.  At that point it is “I am out of here, Bye.”  It’s just too much, too heavy, too weird.  They are not in it for the long haul. One of the groups I suspect might be doing it are Hispanic or tribal with feelings of frustration over not feeling seen and given a certain form of praising attention to.  It is almost like a sibling rivalry with white people and perhaps came from wanting to be seen as sexually attractive by people who just simply did not notice them.  One reason I do not notice people is if I don’t like their energy, I tend to just go the other way or not talk to the person. I am sensing that this has possibly incensed someone I have run into around the areas I habituate; soemone wanted to feel important and attractive, or at least seen, and I just did not play.  I feel from the energy this might be one reason I am getting “it” in terms of psychic attacks. What is confusing, and what I try to explain to people, is that it can be a mixed bag - partly the ugly perp energy of someone else, either new or ongoing baggage,  and something underneath the surface with the bettern energy and context of the existing person.  Things can get tangled up.  The person tells you frankly no way but tehre is something lurking down under there that indicates it is not as clean-cut as one would indicate or prefer to believe.  Yet the main perp is the real issue and discussing that person with others can only lead to fear, anger, frustration, disgust and major communication break-downs.  Trying to talk about it with people who are not that psychic or who want to stay clear of weirdness can only make things impossibly worse to the point of permanent juncture.  “I am out of here.”  The main thing is to try to find like-minded people on the psyhchic thing since so many people just really feel out of touch with it.  I feel support groups for the psychic thing are very important, but finding the right balance can be quite difficult in certain areas.  In addition, some of the people you meet can be even more “out there” than you are, in a space that seems wackier than your own sensory system can permit.  I have met people who seem to be truly paranoid or living in some kind of imaginary fantasy.  While others might think I am paranoid and engaging in impossible topics, I in turn can find yet others who seem to the same, from my own standpoint.  So finding like-minded others can be quite challenging, because it needs to be a good fit. I think sometimes the people who put up flack the most against the psychic thing have secrets, and they start becoming edgy and strange in their responses.  They don’t want a grounded, common sense based dialogue.  Part of it is fear of being seen and known.  Part of it is that certain topics bring up old baggage they do not want to deal with.  Yet again, another part can be drugs and alcohol blocking their ability to deal with things normally because they do not feel well; their bodies and minds have biochemical and physical imbalances which do not permit articulate and careful discussions in these matters.  People can start getting abusive and retaliative when you trip over too many stones. 2020/01/31 Note:  additions/editing on 2020/02/01-02 Birds of a Feather reflection moved to its own section here It’s also found now in the menu tab “About” 2020/01/29-30 Note: Material added both in the morning and later around the noon hour and on the 30th Pull up a chair, this is a sit-down talk.  We are going to be talking about: -More on Veteran PTSD added later today on 1/30/2020 -On psychic encounters -Military Rapes - Friendly Fire, Allies as Foes -Cartel Infiltrated Corporations -Gangs in the Military - how this can lead to crimes against fellow soldiers, account for some of the brutality against Iraqi civilians, and infiltrations from a variety of insurgents and anti-American Iraqis (previous day’s entries) PTSD - Combat Veteran Note from RG: I will add that we need to remember combat veterans with PTSD likely know the scoop; it is important not to project or assume.  Also they might be lured by suggestion, popular opinion or what articles and experts say about “don’t’ trust”, “suicide”, “volatility: and such.  It’s important to take these symptoms seriously and at face value, but also to realize any of us could be lured into acting a certain way out of expectation or common beliefs, or just by suspecting someone expects this of us.  One article on combat veteran PTSD said to remember that many veterans have a complex skill set and can handle difficult topics better than we might think - that is, better than evasion and light talk.  I would concur; the emotional connectivity and ability to communicate complex themes has been proven to me by at least two combat veterans from Iraq one with known PTSD, the other suspected with it.  There can be a tendency to want to withdraw from the world, to be something of a hermit and to yearn to live in the wilderness away from people.  Later realization indicates to me don’t talk about suicide because it can trigger things, like even the feeling that people are talking and expect veterans with PTSD to maybe do that.  It’s not that we want to play false on this subject, but we don’t want to open a can of worms.  I do not expect a combat veteran with PTSD to commit suicide; there is no preconception that they would; there is the hope they would not, but even discussing that to try to prevent such things might open a can of worms.  Every human is unique and this large post-Iraq/Afghanistan military group tendency for PTSD might make our veterans feel like they are being lumped together and that there are certain expectations from family, friends and the general public.  I think we should take one step at a time and also try to encourage them to realize that although we understand the tendencies, concerns and past issues with others, we don’t instantly assume this veteran, this time, will act like that or do that.  It should not be something that is bandied about lightly, this subject of PTSD. One side note: there is the possibility that if a veteran has spent some time training on biofeedback machines and learning how to project his mind to a computerized device of some kind, certain kinds of astral projection, telepathy and other psychic ability might also have been heightened.  I do not know this for a fact, but suspect it.  In addition, I am leaning toward a “strands of consciousness” theme on certain kinds of trauma, particularly excessive violence or near death experiences.  If a person is doing any form of drugs, whether legitimately or not, it might be heightened during certain periods.  I suspect a victimized, traumatized, injured person might leave a portion of his consciousness back at the time of the event and that this aspect could have kept him alive but also might still be directing the show from back at that moment in this time and space in some way.  An ongoing communication and energy portal, in other words.  I have tried talking it out but I am not sure how effective this is, as it can increase fears and stress if the person does not feel comfortable with “woo woo’ topics or tells you he does not want weirdness. Also it can backfire if it makes you come across as non- trustworthy, weird or uncertain.  It can break down communication.   However I suspect their subconscious mind is processing the material anyway.  Spies/Interference, etc: I will also caution veterans and families against any possible post-combat “watchers” - something that comes up as a possibility but I do not have facts.  Some groups would be those linked to Al-Qaeda, Hamas, Hezbollah, etc who knew of the soldier while he/she was on active duty or got the name from a data file or list later.  Players might be part of a complex and long network across the United States who are sent in around veterans who were particuarly strong in Iraq or Afghanistan.  I do not know this for a fact, I suspect it is possible, and I ask people to be on alert to the possibilities.  Hispanic gangs or cartels linked to Islamic mafias could be some of the players, but they would not be the only ones.  I realize it is a concern that could play into already existing paranoia and lack of trust, but since it keeps coming up as a possibility to me, I feel I need to mention it. Huffington Post Care About a Veteran with PTSD? Here Is How to Help 01/27/2016 01:56 pm ET Updated Jan 27, 2017.  Rita Nakashima Brock, Contributor, Dr. William Gibson and I co-authored this article. He is a psychologist and neuropsychologist at the VA Medical Center in Canandaigua, NY. Senior Vice President for Moral Injury Programs at Volunteers of America, Theologian and Lifelong Activist for Peace https://www.huffpost.com/entry/care-about-a-veteran-with-ptsd_b_9073122 Post and Courier 2020/01/29 After successful trials in sc fda expands access to ecstasy https://www.postandcourier.com/news/after-successful-trials-in-sc-fda-expands-access-to-ecstasy/article_3714dfd4-3ebc-11ea-aeb3- 3b15025406bf.html Excerpt: Veterans battling severe post-traumatic stress disorder could soon have access to ecstasy-guided therapy because of successful medical trials done in Mount Pleasant. Ecstasy, scientifically called MDMA, is an illegal psychoactive drug culturally associated with rave culture, dance parties and music festivals. But last week, after years of successful trials in South Carolina, the Food and Drug Administration announced the expansion of the study to help firefighters, police officers and soldiers trying to combat long-standing trauma. “The resurgence of research into using drugs such as MDMA to catalyze psychotherapy is the most promising and exciting development I’ve seen in my psychiatric career,” said Michael Mithoefer, a Mount Pleasant therapist who has conducted trials at his office since 2004. The research has already helped dozens of veterans, including Army Sgt. C.J. Hardin. The West Ashley resident served in Iraq and Afghanistan for eight years. The stress of war paired with memories from his childhood haunted him. He said he turned to heavy drinking and intense self-medicating with marijuana to feel “numb.” He shut himself off from human contact and felt like he was becoming a hermit. “It was a culmination of events in my life but it got more intense during my deployment,” Hardin said. “There was this general feeling of not feeling safe at anytime. The sounds of rockets and mortars and knowing that at any moment a bomb could come in on you.” How to treat PTSD naturally? www.ourmilitary.com/treating-ptsd-naturally/ Treat PTSD Naturally – 3 Effective Ways Meditation and Yoga. Working with Animals. Massage Therapy. Treat PTSD Naturally - 3 Effective Ways - OurMilitary.com www.ourmilitary.com/treating-ptsd-naturally/ Family of a Vet dot com Understanding combat ptsd from the inside out http://www.familyofavet.com/understanding_combat_ptsd.html Excerpt: Combat-Related Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (or Combat PTSD) is not just something that happens to a soldier when they have to kill someone (though that can play a part).  It’s about what happens, physically and psychologically, inside of a soldier’s brain when they are faced with weeks, months, and years of constant fear, death, adrenaline, and danger.  This enormous, prolonged stress literally changes the way their brain looks and functions.   Physical Changes HIPPOCAMPUS - The hippocampus is a section of our brain that plays an important part in short-term memory and the regulation of our emotions.  Researchers, using Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI’s), have been able to determine that the hippocampus of veterans with PTSD has actually suffered damage.  They believe this damage may be under stress. PREFRONTAL CORTEX – Our Prefrontal Cortex helps us decide how we experience and react to an emotion and resolve conflicts.  It also tells our brain when a threat has passed.  People with PTSD have altered blood flow to this area of their brain (the more change in flow, the more severe the symptoms of PTSD).  This decrease in function causes their brain to sort of be stuck in a permanent fear mode, because it doesn’t relay the “all clear” message. ADRENALINE RESPONSE – When we’re in danger, our brain flips into “fight or flight” mode, a place where it is primed to decide whether or not we should run or engage a threat.  Our bodies make two handy hormones that cause this response: noradrenaline that handles fight, and adrenaline which is responsible flight.  In “normal” brains, these hormones are released by a current threat (i.e., when someone is standing face to face with a bear).  But, in a brain affected by PTSD, these hormones are triggered not by actual threats but by reminders of threats that occurred months or years before. GRAY MATTER – The gray matter section of our brain is responsible for processing information from our body (sensory neurons) and sending information to our body (motor neurons).  Veterans have 5% - 10% less gray matter after developing PTSD.  This means their neurons (their communication signals) have been damaged. Psychological / Mental Changes HOSTILITY / AGGRESSION – Veterans with PTSD exhibit significantly higher levels of hostility and aggression than the general public, or even than other soldiers who have experienced combat.  Since they have lived for a long period of time where they needed to aggressively react at a moment’s notice in order to stay alive, this way of acting has become an ingrained habit.  Spouses often joke that it is not safe to wake a sleeping veteran from anywhere close by.  This is because, when startled awake, the vet can react with an unbelievably strong amount of aggression because he believes he is responding to an unknown threat.  On a wider scale, it is very common for individuals with PTSD to get into fights, drive aggressively, become angry at insignificant things, and drastically overreact to any sort of challenge. UILT – The guilt associated with post traumatic stress disorder is often called survivor’s guilt.  The veteran feels a great deal of guilt because he survived an attack when a comrade did not.  He feels guilty  because a friend lost his legs in an explosion while he remained mostly untouched.  He feels guilty that he is at home in safe surrounding while others he fought with are in harm’s way. DEPRESSION / SUICIDE – People with post traumatic stress disorder are seven times more likely to be depressed than someone in the general population.  It is one of the most complaints associated with PTSD.  And, unfortunately, this depression goes hand in hand with high rates of suicide among our nation’s returning heroes.  As of April, 2010 (the last time data was published), eighteen of our nation’s heroes were committing suicide each day.  PARANOIA – In Iraq, a paranoid soldier is a soldier who stays alive.  Every item in his environment, from a pothole to a child carrying a backpack, must be regarded as a potential threat.  When that same soldier, whose mind has been changed by PTSD, returns home, he is often unable to shut off his vigilant behavior.  Veterans will often almost constantly “patrol” their homes to check for intruders, insist that they sit with their backs to a wall and facing the door so that they can analyze every person who enters a room, or even drive off the road in order to avoid discarded trash (because this often indicated an Improvised Explosive Device or IED in combat). LACK OF TRUST – This change in a veteran with PTSD is also caused by his time in combat.  While in Iraq or Afghanistan he had to assume that everyone he met, even those who were called allies, were possible enemies.  The only people he knew he could rely on in order to stay alive were himself and those in his immediate group - people who had proven themselves to each other in combat.  After that same Veteran returns home, he feels alone and without the protection of his battle-tested counterparts.  He doesn’t trust anyone else (even people he’s known for his entire life) to be able to watch out for him.  He feels that he, alone, is the only one he can count on or trust.     POOR COPING SKILLS - Due to the physical and mental changes Veteran with PTSD has, they are often unable to cope in what most people would consider “normal” circumstances.  They are easily overwhelmed by too much noise, too many people, too many changes, or too much stimuli of any sort.  Dealing with post traumatic stress disorder and all of its symptoms takes most of their energy and concentration.  Anything else, especially something that is unexpected, can cause a violent reaction or simply cause the Veteran to shut down. Understanding these changes helps many people understand for the first time just how “real” post traumatic stress disorder is.  Unfortunately, hidden wounds (like PTSD), are often hard for people to grasp and empathize with.  Hopefully, after learning more about the “mechanics” behind PTSD, you will be better able to talk about PTSD and the real impact it can have on the life of a Veteran and on those who love and care for him or her. This article was written by Brannan Vines, the proud wife of an OIF Veteran with TBI and PTSD and founder of FamilyOfaVet.com, an organization devoted to helping heroes and their loved ones survive and thrive after combat by providing real world education and resources about PTSD, TBI, and other post-combat issues.  You can contact Brannan by e- mail at brannan -at- familyofavet.com or through Facebook at facebook.com/familyofavet. http://www.familyofavet.com/understanding_combat_ptsd.html On psychic encounters - added on Jan. 30 2020 On this website, you will find a mix of two worlds - the world of the facts, figures, data and news stories - with the latter often a source of information, but not something any of us can rely on without further checks.  The other world is the world of the far zone, the one involving both paranormal and technical information. I am someone who has had several psychic types of experiences.  Having not come from a psychically oriented family, if there were psychics actively working their psychic stuff, it might have been several generations back.  I do not have any reference to such a tendency in our family line, other than a small number of ghost stories from a grandmother on my mother’s side; talking briefly to an uncle on that side of that family, he admits frankly he finds the discussion of the paranormal and ghosts interesting, and is not afraid of it.  Not so my parents.  Adamantly opposed to such discussions, it just doesn’t happen one generation removed, in the household I grew up in. So where did my interest in the paranormal and related topics come from?  Again, some of it started with Grandma talking about ghost stories.  That opened the door.  But my mother had heard the same stories.  So something else was going on.  I would say I always was extra sensitive, maybe hyper-sensitive.  I felt nature’s beauty poignantly as early as  age 7 or 8 during some European travels. That connection to nature’’s beauty was something I wrote poems about or would discuss - in my head at night in tents, while my parents slept nearby in another tent - during our camping excursions in nature.  I would stand as this child looking out over natural vistas, quietly in my mind, just trying to take it all in and to remember it, to hold onto the views like a permanent snapshot.  I wanted to stop time and just become one with the beauty I saw. I spent time in Greek areas dancing and singing, playing imaginary games - again while my parents were nearby.  I held every ancient ruin we saw on our road trips or visited dear.  I did not want to miss seeing and taking in a single one.  Our time living in Athens, Greece allowed our family to travel around the country camping, visiting several wonderful beaches and ancient spots.  Perhaps I picked up ancient ghost energy or vibes along the way which stuck for a lifetime.  Maybe ancient Greek spirits around those old places were talking to me and I did not consciously know it, or maybe I just absorbed a variety of energies throug something like osmosis, not only in Greece but in the other places overseas we lived anda traveled, as well as in places in the USA.  I spent a lot of time around ancient Anasazi ruins in the Southwest both earlier and later as an adult.  I have always had a special feeling for ancient Pueblo ways because of this.  Later, I took up some anthropology and archaeology courses and learned more about these ancient peoples of the desert, as well as about the vagaries of ethnocentrism, culture shock and such.  We read up on a variety of anthropologists and social historians who informed us of the issue of relativism between cultures, and the problem of studying other cultures while locked up in our heads with our own cultural predispositions and language.  The idea is to observe without judgment, to stay as objective as possible.  We would read works looking for a bias in the author’s slant. As you pass through that entry level state of unlearning what you learned, seeing your own biases, acknowledging your own ethnocentrism and culture shock, you can come out the other side of the tunnel to a decision that it’s OK to be white in America - or you can join the civil rights groups and pretend that being white does not matter.  My journey to my approaches today regarding race, religion and culture came from a period of reaching out to ancient tribal traditions as maybe a better way to go than the white heritage.  I also noticed that I was one who often opened up and talked freely to blacks on buses, in coffee houses and just about anywhere a conversation could be struck up out of the blue.  I had that easy rapport with most of the blacks I met, but not all.  I remember some giving me an attitude on some Greyhound buses when traveling for the first time on them in the southern USA.  It caught me a little by surprise that they would refuse to let me sit next to them because I was white.  But there were others who talked freely with me like we had been friends forever. Many of my friends were native Greeks in the neighborhood I lived in at an Athens suburb closer to the base of a lovely mountain.  It was at the edge of the country then - and also a garbage dump over to the left further from our home. We rode bikes together despite our language differences.  My best friend was a Greek/American girl next door who went to the same school I did.  We kept in contact for many years later until it dropped off finally. My best friend in later high school  in New Mexico was a Japanese American, second generation I believe, and my best friend in early high school in Arizona was a second generation Chinese.  I seemed to cater to things that were not too much Americana and with people whose perspectives stepped outside of the ordinary.  In the background, however, my grandparents on my father’s side were very Texan, having both experienced poverty and hardships; the stories of poverty mostly came from my grandmother’’s side, but my grandfather also had had his share of difficulties growing up on a farm with an alcoholic and authoritarian father who wanted him to work with his brothers on the farm and not continue his education.  They came from small rural towns and had a down home style with family, cooking, and stability values.  I heard a lot of country music growing up, both with those grandparents and also with the second childhood family that were caretakers during my early years while my mother taught school.  I spent many hours hearing it on the radio or mostly on TV in both these households.  My mother’s side of the family had those family values, as well, with every Thanksgiving and Christmas spent with large family style meals and big Christmas trees surrounded by lots of gifts.  That family (my mothers side) is the one that had a lot of nice art works around the home and this is likely one influence behind my artistic nature.  Seeing nice art on the walls and attractive collections on tables and bookshelves around the home spurred a sense of delight in color, textures, forms or shapes and both earthiness and polished glamour.  Several of the pots and baskets were some purchased while being a trading post operator from the early years of the 1900s; they had that earthy feeling which helps you sense raw materials, textures and forms.  But my grandmother also like pretty femiinine things like little boy blues and flowery things.  There were also some nice oil paintings around the house from well known artists of desert vistas, bringing out interesting colors with an emphasis on light or tone.  My other grandparents did not have these artistic tendencies, but they cherished the gifts family gave them by displaying them over al ifetime on their bookshelves, along with familyl photos.  This gave a sense of familiarity and stability to their home with the emphasis on family and memories about times together.  Neither family demanded control about religion, but left the decision for spiritual direction to each person’s own inner guidance and will.  The use of a bible was seen as connected to family history and going to church or listening to church on the television was around me, but no one was pushing or forcing religion on me or each other.  This makes me especially sensitive to  families who try to force Jesus on each other and others, and who are very rigid in believing their way is the only way.  Not having that kind of authoritarianism in our home, no bible or belt mentalities, we learned to think things through for ourselves, although there was probably an assumption that Jesus was a real figure in history, for the most part, with few questions asked.  I picked up some of that from the churches I attended, as I did not always go to the same ones my parents did - a little bit of influence from the mother’s side of the family, not much, and some through the childcare family, the people who watched me when I was little.  They were very churchy of the “old school” style - I was taken as a child to several of the church sermons, received a bible as a child guest, and spent some time at various church togethers.  So Jesus as an unquestioned spiritual figure would have been entrained in me there more directly, as well as indirectly from my primary home life.  I did not start questioning the basic tenets of a Jesus centered belief system until much later.  Making that conscious leap probably came in bits and pieces over the years.  I looked into Buddhism, Taoism, tribal spirituality up to a point, but none of it really hit me at my center.  Over time, especially in the past year or so, I realized that I am not a dualist.  Dualism:  the religious doctrine that the universe contains opposed powers of good and evil, especially seen as balanced equals.  I thnk this one subject is a major reason behind ongoing problems in the world, including racial divides, senses of “us and them”, fear and loathing of “the other” and wars.  By creating a Satan, we tend to project that and become it.  We manifest it by fighting it and feeling superior in the process of being better than “that bad thing over there.”  Islamic dualism takes it out on the rest of us “infidels” by justifying an imagined higher camp than everyone else’s.  Christians who refuse to really help others until they “get Jesus” are another example of a a lofty sense of self over others.  In addition, by waiting endlessly until someone “’hits bottom” or shows signs of “helping self”, Christians can and sometimes will let things go too long unchecked and unhelped; they can be niggardly in their approach to assistance, as well, meting or doling out small amounts while acting like they are just huge.  I have seen enough of the lower end of Christian charity to know what I am talking about.  Small amounts of help can loom large in the minds of those who have little to give inside themselves.  There can be a harsh meanness behind a world of work, as well, which can encourage a deaf ear to things like pain and rape.  If life is hard, there might be a tendency to treat workers as slap boys who have to “earn” their stripes by going through all kinds of hardships before getting raises or making money.  Also by assuming that work is hard and rough, there might be a tendency to treat complaints as signs of weakness and slough.  This too can encourage a military that won’t listen to personnel who indicate they have had maltreatment or been raped.  This same tendency can be fund in any corporation or company that sees work as hard, life as hard, and life as a battle against an opponent.   Any form of divvying up the world’s positive and negative aspects can make people focus on things that make them feel superior and unwilling to do the right thing just for the sake of doing the right thing.  A kind of self-satisfied clique mentality can set in, along with an elitism over dress, education, neighborhoods and styles of expression.  In addition, dualism tends to encourage cult or club mentalities in organized religion. It is that “in here” versus “out there” thing.  In the process of pretending to be good, they might have pent up and repressed sexual drives which ooze out into the most oppressive and aggressive sexual abuses imaginable.  People need to have a sense of order and stability to function well, but controlled sexual exactitudes only make people funky and sick.  That energy needs a level of natural and relaxed health and balance or things go awry.  Dualism can exaggerate the sense of a malicious devil “out there” going around tricking people into sexual desire; by trying to fight this thing, people can actually be attacking their inner cores.  The sex power is too strong to try to suppress it, and needs healthy outlets by seeing life as a circle, not a divide.  As a continuum, we can stretch the energy around and sense its nuances of light and dark without trying to break it all up into controlled segments. Military Rapes On the US military: hazing and rapes can be seen as a form of friendly fire, although there is nothing friendly and kind about it; in this sense, our own people harm or kill our own; it destroys lives and morale; it eats the military from the inside out; it has long-term devastating effects even after military service is over.  Military leaders are said to not have taken the concerns seriously enough over a long period of time, with rape victims not listened to or responded to properly.  Yet we need to give those military leaders credit for doing the right thing when a rape is reported; we must not jump to conclusions that all military leaders are corrupt or inept in these matters.  It is devastating to have so much negativity directed at the very groups that are dying protecting the country overseas.  Let us all apply honest and common sense these matters; not out to vilify the military, but to try to help it clear out the things that interfere with its best performance.  Also, we don’t want hard working and embattled soldiers - people who have had to deal with extreme situations overseas - further victimized by criminal acts within their ranks.  They deserve better than this. The other issue here is rapes which occur when working alongside groups from other countries, like Iraq and Afghanistan.  Rapes can and do occur on both sides, Iraqi and American.  There is, for example, a rape and murder case indicated in the Iraq/Crimes section on this website. However, the issues of Iraqi penetration into American prisons probably has not been given enough pubic attention, although much was written on the corruption and widespread abuse at Abu Ghraib in Iraq.  How much maltreatment was directly from Iraqi persons supposedly working with Americans probably gets lost in the shuffle; we an ask how much of it was actually American in those prisons and how much of it was something else?  In addition, let’s say an American soldier was treated at a hospital in Baghdad manned by a variety of groups.  What if while getting so-called medical help, he was also raped and victimized?  He is in there for an EFP explosion related injury, but things are so crazy, he gets abused just for being at the hospital at the wrong time and place.  As an American soldier, he is supposed to be on top and the good guy, but while his arm and leg are torn up, he has little protection and gets “it” from so-called staff and others hanging around the hospital at the time he is supposed to be getting what is primarily American military medical treatment.  Humiliated and also made to believe this is the lot of the American soldier, he doesn’t push for his civil rights in the matter.  Part of the game is to make Americans feel like losers and so much “shit”, which eats at a person’s self-worth.  In other words, along with the bad deeds are words and energies that get inside you, inside your head and psyche.  This non-physical abuse can keep a person from speaking out or standing up for himself later.  Although this hospital rape/abuse scenario is imaginary at this point, you can sense how something like this could happen in Middle Eastern combat zones involving American soldiers.  The fact Americans were training and working with Iraqis that were being infiltrated by insurgents can explain how something like this could happen, but it also can come from the differences of cultures.  For example, Iraqis long under Saddam’s reign might have developed low grade tendencies.  How many American soldiers raped by Iraqis supposedly working with them have not spoken up, or have not had their concerns appropriately handled?  The fact many Americans come back from Iraq unable to trust anyone can account for the Iranian, Al-qaeda and mixed government leadership loyalties backstabbing Americans left and right even while the Americans were trying to clean up messes all over the country.  There is no wonder American veterans from Iraq don’t trust anyone, but not trusting alone will not help solve the problems.  People need to come forward with any remaining unrevealed or unreported rapes and other forms of maltreatment both from other Americans and those Iraqis who were supposed to be working with them.  In addition, Americans were often asked to work with insurgents who had formerly fought Americans in a bad way.  Criminals were let out of prison and funded to work with Americans.  This put soldiers and their leaders in compromising situations and muddied the waters of “us” and “them.”  Insome cases, we saw some improvements when the enemy decided to work with us.  But the muddied waters could lead to increased risks for American soldiers, a loss of morale and more.  Although there were sincere Iraqis working alongside Americans, and these people cannot be forgotten or overlooked, or unnecessarily lumped in with the others, we need to be aware of those Iraqis who were playing ruthless games around the Americans.  It is a complex subject. As such, then: -pay attention to all rapes of every kind across all of the military branches, including the Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines and Coast Guard; gain access to all records and start charting the information across various determining variables, looking for trends and isolated events -pay attention to real or hyped information on gangs in the military; where there is a verified presence of gangs, be on alert to: rapes, hazing and gangstalking -in all news stories of any kind, watch for hype and the idea of Making the Other Guy Look Bad, one of the first sections you should read on this website Cartel Infiltrated Corporations Be prepared to connect the dots between gangs, cartels, military, police, security and political organizations; be prepared to push the envelope on seemingly racial tensions - for example, if everyone answering the phone is only one race, this actually might be a problem - it is not just your imagination.  If you suspect a corporation is only hiring certain “types” - what can you do about it?  Answers: Start with awareness.  Start with taking notes and bringing it to your conscious awareness.  Then go from there.  This is the United States.  There is no reason for everyone who is answering the phone to be Hispanic or any one race. If you are only getting Hispanics, or the call centers for a certain lumber and hardware franchise have people picking up the phone in Mexico, maybe you need to start shopping somewhere else. Ask where the call centers are, see if they answer.   If things are bad in Mexico, you can expect things might be bad in a call center in Mexico, too.  Things do not magically get better just because the Mexican call center services stores in the United States.  All the baggage in the area can be impacting that Mexican call center.  Beyond Hispanic gang and cartel dominated corporations, any corporation that leans toward certain races or tendencies should be suspect.  The corporations can be one way of unwinding the United States, taking it out by removing Americans from the work force, but also sidestepping American laws and ethical practices.  India Call Centers is one such subject on this website, but there are many others to consider. Gangs in US Military See previous day’s entries - the main point when considering gangs in the military is that things can become a whole lot rougher and uncertain with them there. They can be messing with things in a variety of ways. Common sense should tell you that it might be easier for the enemy to influence or buy off a gang member who has racial issues or certain anti-American tendencies.  In going over the list of rapes both on and off bases, and also involving people who are ex-military, people need to consider whether the perpetrat or was a gang member.  Gang membership, past or present, should be considered a possible variable.  The military has always included people with criminal pasts, often with the hope the military will straighten them out, and often it does. However, certain tendencies might best be seen as infecting the military.  How do you clean it up and out?  What has been tried already, what worked?  What did not work? It goes without saying that gang-infected sectors which normally require top security clearances are compromised spaces.  Beyond those areas needing top security, just being around these people in day-to-day operations might be a matter of watching your back.  On the other hand, things can go the other direction in the sense of “brothers” - there is no doubt someone who has been a gang member might have learned certain types of loyalty and brotherhood which make him one of the fiercest allies.  They might have valuable real world and street-wise skills which help in keeping an eye out in tough neighborhoods in Iraq, for example, or around fellow soliders giving off a certain bad vibe; these soldiers might end up helping in ways that someone from less tough areas could not imagine.  We have to take each situation individually and not blanketly assume all current or past gang members are the ones harming and raping their fellow soldiers, but it can be one issue.  Just as possible are generational military people whose families were raised in a harsh military environment of hazing and rapes, so they try to pass it on to all new recruits; in this case, it’s the military people, not the gang members, doing the rapes.  You have to look at each case individually but also look for trends.  There are many parents past and present who would like to know the answers behind what really happened to their children who joined the military.  Those people deserve real answers.  Many times it is in fact the grieving parents who do the leg work, the digging, the anguished legal action. --------------------- 2020/01/27-28   Changes on website, Gang presence in US military Various sections being revamped or moved. In terms of bad stuff inside the American military, consider the following: Wikipedia Gang presence in the United States military https colon //en dot wikipedia dot org/wiki/Gang_presence_in_the_United_States_military#Gang_graffiti_in_Iraq Excerpt: Part of list of contents: 2 Notable cases 2.1 White power skinheads 2.2 Gangster Disciples 2.3 Norteños 2.4 King Cobra Boys 2.5 Gang graffiti in Iraq The last: Gang graffiti in Iraq Excerpt: U.S. gang-related graffiti has shown up in Iraq since the beginning of the Iraq War in 2003. Among the largest American street gangs represented in Iraq are the Gangster Disciples, Crips, Bloods, 18th Street, Norteños, Black Disciples, Sureños, Latin Kings, TAP Boyz, Tiny Rascal Gang, Vice Lords, and Black P. Stones, which originated in some of America's most violent and impoverished neighborhoods.[20][21] There are also reports of Black Power, African Nations, Aryan Nations, Aryan Brotherhood and Ku Klux Klan gang graffiti in Iraq.[22] https colon //en dot wikipedia dot org/wiki/Gang_presence_in_the_United_States_military#Gang_graffiti_in_Iraq 2020/01/24-26 Do your homework on the MSA - Muslim Student Association Table, derived from article from Center Sec. Policy  below the table link. TABLE adddition - note 2020/01/29: this table has been added to the System Abuse menu at the top of the page; the material from the Ctr Sec Pol article is dated, but the idea is to look for trends and tendencies that could exist today; the idea is not to haze, kill or target Muslims but to pursue investigations legally and professionally; see the No Honor, No Country section on Police Factor. MSA Muslim Students Association links to very real terrorism and anti-American agendas https://rivergold.net/Muslim-Students-Association.html Center for Security Policy dot org (2018/04/29)  The Muslim Brotherhood’s Muslim Students Association, What Americans need to know. By Christopher Holton. https://www.centerforsecuritypolicy.org/2018/04/29/the-muslim-brotherhoods-muslim-students-association-what-americans-need-to- know/Universities listed with suspected and known dangerous Muslims with anti-American agendas:North Carolina A&T, University of South Alabama…etc….Excerpt: • Abu Mansoor al-Amriki, aka Omar Hammami was an American-born member of al Shahab, a Somali Islamic militant group aligned with al Qaeda. Hammami served as president of the MSA chapter at the University of South Alabama.• Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, who would later go on to mastermind the September 11th terrorist attacks as the number 3 man in Al Qaeda, was a member of the MSA chapter at North Carolina A&T in 1986 Impeachment Inquiry In Process
IN THIS SECTION   2020/02/03     2020/01/31     2020/01/29-30     2020/01/27-28     2020/01/24-26 (see also notes 2019-2020)
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